today was a hor…

today was a horrible day. 

I was supposed to give my testimony at MLM but failed to because I was having a heated discussion about studying with my mom. Apparently my studying method is not good enough because my grades don’t seem to show it. For some reason, I became hysterical over the phone and started crying. So not the right time to have swollen eyes and a blocked nose. So I cancelled my sharing. I hope it wasn’t obvious that I wasn’t there. 

the sore mood pretty much carried on into the afternoon. Good thing Kat and Marcus were there to comfort me. Others, well… I guess they didn’t know what to say to me. I hate this sore mood. Reminds me of those hopeless days I had in secondary school. When I used to wonder what was wrong with me and fantasized about being popular.

these feelings are stupid. I want to let go right now.  

Dear God,
I’m up early this morning because I’ve been rudely awoken by this dream that’s been replying in my head over and over. I really hate this kind of drama.

Also to prepare for my sharing today. it came to me last night after my revelation that I should give instead of waiting to be given to. Strange how events from early this year link till now. It’s important to know anyway.

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (proverbs 15:1)

If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the LORD will reward you. (proverbs 25: 21-22)

These were the verses that came to mind. I thought of sharing what happened with my project group mates earlier this year. We had a misunderstanding with the groupings for the final project. 2 of my group members and I  they were hopping mad at me because they thought I had betrayed them. For 2 whole days I figuring out how to make peace with them but when it came to the moment of confrontation, I froze and couldn’t say anything.