Lessons… January 29, 2008

Fine… I agree with Kat and Ezbel on why no one tags or reads my blog… Never mind about that now… I need to get on with writing about what I learnt today…

Today I discovered that tomorrow would be the last day my friend is going to PJC… At that moment I felt a little stunned; I never thought that she’d be leaving so soon… I knew quite early during the PAE period that she was going to leave for Australia in the middle of February, but it never occured to me that she would be leaving school early to pack for her studies there… I felt sad that she was leaving just when we were getting to know each other better and when we were beginning to enjoy each other’s company… I will miss her immensely… I know that we still can keep in contact via email, msn, etc, but it is not the same as being with someone in person…

I thought of all the people whom I’ve known who are going overseas to study; it must be so difficult to leave their family and loved ones in Singapore while they travel alone to a foreign country to study. I feel for them and I sympathize with them.

I feel fortunate that I can stay in Singapore, but I realized the importance of cherishing every thing and every moment that we’ve got with our family and loved ones because anything can happen that would take us apart from each other… I’ve also learnt not to take things for granted and to just enjoy everything I’ve got no matter how great or how small. What I need to figure out now is how to appreciate everything I’ve got to the best I can with the time I have. It seems so difficult but I will find a way.

Some lessons have to learnt the hard way, but its good that through suffering we can gain much valuable experience which we can make use of in our daily lives to make wise decisions. So I’ve decided to learn as much as I can, whenever I can so that I can become a better person.

Today’s lesson is pretty painful. I guess that I took her company for granted and I will spend more time with her tomorrow. I think this same lesson applies to the rest of the PAE period and I will enjoy the time I have left with my buddies in PJC.  

I wish her all the best in Australia and that she will be blessed richly by God who loves her and wants the best for her.

God bless you, Pei Qi.

Happy!! January 27, 2008

Funny how no one seems to like to leave comments, but it doesn’t matter, I’ll just continue updating about my day and, hopefully, most of the days to come…

Today I made a perfect pancake!!!! Its a milestone in my life and I’m feeling so proud of myself right now!!! Never have I ever made such a beautiful pancake in my short life! It kinda looks like the McDonald’s sort. All my previous attemps look too burnt around the edges or the surface of the pancake is unevenly browned with patches of white here and there. For ages I could not understand why my pancakes never turned out as gorgeous as Nigella’s on the telly and now I know the secret to making perfect pancakes, which I shall reveal later, if you read on…

Actually, when I first made it, I was so surprised that it had turned out so well that I exclaimed to my brother, who was busy munching the rest of my less successful efforts, “Yay!! I made the perfect pancake!!! It looks like the sort you see on the pancake flour box!!!” He just took his time to turn around to look at that perfectly round golden-brown pancake, insensitively spoiling my moment of elation, and retorted, “You noob, I could have done that too.” Then again, when he tried making another pancake with the same batter, it still did not turn out as good as mine…

Being the generous person that I am, I shall share this secret that I chanced upon with the few who actually read this blog and the even fewer who bother to tag… Well, the trick is to ensure that the pan is sufficiently greased, but not with too much oil or butter, depending on what you like to use. That way, the edges of the pancake would not absorb too much oil and end up becoming darker, burnt or too crispy when you make the pancake. Somehow, by using less oil or butter, the entire surface of the pancake, on the pan of course, will be evenly cooked and be completely golden brown.  As far as I’m concerned, I think any pancake recipe should be able to achieve these results…

Yes, now you’re probably thinking, “I knew that like so long ago and you are such a slow poke at finding that out, you twit!” Oh well, I’m just sharing what I found out today…

Good day…

I love school, by the way.

Thinking… January 25, 2008

I’ve been wondering lately why there there are so many changes taking place around me. It feels so queer that all these changes are happening so quickly, so fast that I can barely take it all in. My mom told me today that in 6 years I am going to start working and in 10 years I’d be getting married…

Freaky, eh…

I think of all these wonderful changes and the impact they have on my life. Whether they are good or bad, I welcome them because the good can make me glad and the bad can only make me stronger. Looking at things with the “half-full” perspective is so much better… Also, I thought that these changes are good for me because I’ve been living in a bubble for so long that I was protected from so many things, that is what real life is like. It’s good to be finally exposed to them, but I am extra cautious when I deal with them.

I wonder why I’ve become so bo chap these days that nothing seems to be able to affect me. It’s as though I’m neutral all the time. I’m not nervous around boys, I’m not nervous collecting my ‘o’ level results, I’m not nervous when talking to new people… It’s as though I stopped caring about all these things that are happening around me and I’ve got no more emotion left in me… I wonder why…

Anyway, I’ve been pondering over my choices on which JC to go. Some say go here, some say go there and now I don’t know where to go… It’d be nice going somewhere where I can grow, serve God, make wonderful friends, enjoy happy experiences, learn tons of good lessons… I pray that I’ll make the right decision as to where to go to in order to fufil God’s will… I so badly want to do it all for Him, but sometimes these self-centred prideful thoughts get in the way of my decision-making and I can’t stand it! There’s nothing else I can do but pray and pray about it.

Nevertheless, I thank God for all His goodness that he’s showered upon me. Going to PJC was actually a blessing in disguise. I remember after getting awful prelim results, I cried like crazy after that and my self-esteem was at rock bottom… God helped me to my feet and to persevere on towards the ‘O’ levels. I am grateful for his help and that I made a large improvement in my scores.

Going to PJC was a tough at first, both physically and mentally. As PJC is in Choa Chu Kang, I had to wake up at 5.30 a.m. every morning to get to school by 7.30 a.m. as I have to take not only the bus, but also the MRT and then the bus again. Waiting for the bus and MRT to arrive takes a long time, but the walking also takes quite a while too… Initially, it was exhausting but I managed to get used to it. I remember for the first week of the year, everytime I came home, I would sleep for 3 hours straight! Even my mom complained that I had been sleeping too much! Mentally, going to PJC wasn’t a happy choice for me. I remember every morning when I get on the MRT at Buona Vista, there’d be AC people getting off… Seeing them going the school that I wanted to be in, but could not be in was exceedingly painful… Sometimes, I wanted to just not go the PJC and just join them, but, of course, I resisted

The good parts about PJC was that I made many friends here and learnt so many things that I would not have even heard of if I had stayed within my comfort zone in a Methodist school. People here were generally caring and friendly, so making friends was quite easy for me even though I had to make the effort to approach them. After a while, I grew more and more comfortable talking with complete strangers without being self-concious or afraid. That, in itself, was a great surprise to me because I used to be so shy, shy to the extent that I’d flush red if anyone outside my small circle of friends spoke to me… It was definitely byGod’s grace that I learnt to be brave and more self-assured. Furthermore, PJC provided the opportunity for me to try out new things. Like Drama, for instance. My audition was a total disaster, I had to act as Fergie in an impromtu skit titled “When Fergie meets Britney”. I had to sing and push “Britney” off the “stage”. I won’t go into the gory details that would probably get anyone to burst out laughing, but from that day on I decided that I had nothing to lose but all to gain from trying new things… I was glad when the one of the seniors, whom I met on the MRT the next Monday, said that she thought I was brave… Even though I embarrassed myself thoroughly that day, I know  gained much from the experience and I thank God for it.

I thank God for the friends I made here too that they were so friendly, kind and accommodating for putting up with my nonsense, lame jokes and all… We shared some good laughs at the expense of the only 2 boys in my class. 08S06 rocks!!

I shall rejoice for the Lord is good and his love endures forever! He keeps his promises and will never leave or forsake us… I love you Lord… Thank you for all that you have done! Thank you that you meant all things for good and you want the best for me… Thank you Lord for all you’ve done…

I don’t understand… January 22, 2008

I don’t get it… Why do some people just read my blog and leave without writing a comment? You know who you are, but thankfully, I don’t. Anyway I just find it kinda creepy that whatever that I write on this blog can be read by anyone… Oh well…

I also don’t understand why I’m in the position I’m in now. I wish that I could be out of it so that I could concentrate… I keep thinking, “Why me?!” or “Why now?!”, so now I’ve made the decision to simply give up on it and stop dwelling on it any longer. It’s no good for me right now…

I really want to get away from people for a while and just be alone. The long weekend would be a good opportunity for me to mull over all the stuff that’s happening in my life and to reflect on it… This is my inner introvert speaking and I think I desperately need to get away… My principal said that we need not come to school on thursday, friday and next monday so that we can ponder over our JAE choices and relax. I really need the break. Maybe I’ll go to the library and find some good books to read

Books are my life. Honestly, I don’t know what I’d do without books… It’s been a while since I sat down with a good book and just read it for hours. Good ol’ anti-social is back. Old habits die hard…

Adios, my dears…

Wondering… January 20, 2008

OG pot luck was kinda unusual. There were lots of dance, music, food, laughter, games and photos as usual, but I wasn’t being myself, the good ol’ sunny self…  I hate being like that, I wonder if my friends noticed…

Here are the photos that Rui sent me

Hans, our OGL, is in the centre. He said that he was making his James Bond look and the girls around him are supposed to be the Bond girls, that’s why we are pointing “guns” at him. The rest of us just play along happily…

Rui, Hans and I

Pei Xuan, Rui and I. We look so happy together don’t we?

Group photo. Delson, one of the boys, dunked the head of Emily, the girl next to me, when the photo was being taken. I remember hearing him say to Emily, “No photo for you!!”

I’m feeling so tired now after walking around Orchard for a whole afternoon that I can’t upload the rest of the photos. Another time then…

A little confused… January 17, 2008

I wonder what’s happening. Would this be counted as a good change?

PJC is a wonderful place. Everyone’s incredibly friendly and nice. I Somehow my MG accent seems to stick out a lot around here and I get mistaken again and again for being foreign. When they ask it would sound like, “Are you foreign?” or “Are you from Australia?” or “Which country are you from?”. The strangest one I’ve heard is “Are you a PRC?” BTW, to all those questions I answer the same way, “NO!” Funny how they also seem to think that I look Eurasian as well… 

Honestly speaking, I never thought I sounded foreign; I always thought I sounded like everyone else, in Singapore that is. So, I recorded my voice last night and heard myself speak. I swear the voice I heard so wasn’t mine… I think I sound more bimbo than I think…

Thoughts January 14, 2008

I guess co-ed wasn’t as bad as I thought. PJC wasn’t as bad as I thought. My mom scared me by giving me the impression that PJC was a school filled with a bunch of ruffians, people who were bound to steal my stuff whenever my back was turned, who also enjoyed cutting queues in the canteen and used an endless stream of hokkien expletives…

Seriously, I beg to differ. People here are nothing like that… Although all of the friends that I have made so far are girls, the general impression that I have of this school is that the students are friendly and caring…

I can’t remember another week in my life where I talked, laughed or joked so much… I have this friend called Alina, she is so damn funny! Everything that she says that she wants to do during her free time has something to do with running around the track once… For example, she’d say something like this, “Before we go for CCA, we must change and then run around the track once, then go for CCA. (This way we’d feel rejuvenated)” or “Before class we must run around the track once!” She said that in Chinese and it sounds super funny when she says it and I seriously can’t stop myself from laughing XD…

The guys here are not very good looking, unfortunately. I admit I was pretty disappointed when I looked around and there were so few good looking ones I thought there would be more good looking ones in ACSI. Last week, I sent my brother off at the airport as he was about to go to Shanghai for some OEP school thing and there were so many more good looking guys in the group that was leaving, even considering the fact that they are 2 years younger than I am… Oh yes, I remember there was this guy I saw who was half ang moh who was so cute!! I could identify his parents the moment I saw them He had black hair, a very slender oval face and he wore black-rimmed glasses…  I don’t quite remember which actor he looked like, but he was seriously cute… Yes, I know I can’t like guys who are my brother’s age… Oh well, sigh…

I haven’t talked to any guys as friends in PJC yet… The guys in my OG were super anti-social and they clung to each other, so I did not really get to talk to any of them. In my class there are only two guys, one of which does not really like talking so that just leaves one from BPGH. Today during Chinese, we were in the lecture theatre and I had to blow my nose because I’m having a serious cold. I must have blown my nose extremely loudly because I couple of people turned to look at me and that guy did too. He did not exactly turn around until I looked right at him and said “Hi” while holding the tissue paper over my nose. He even waved at me in the canteen, so I’m guessing that he’d be more friendly than the other guys in my OG…

My buddies in my class were all from all girl secondary schools, so we were discussing how fun it was to be in an all-girl school. Think all the jokes, sitting with our legs wide open…

Today Verdict: School was fun!

WooHoo!!! January 8, 2008

When I label the title of this post “WOoHoO” it does no refer to that thing which Sims who love each other do in Sims2, but to describe my feelings of elation! Orientation is so bloody fun!

I think I shall attempt to upload some of the shots Rui sent me…

Rui, Emily and I

Table shot, only girls though… The boys don’t sit with us. For some reason the boys and girls are not really friends with each other…

One side of the table… Behind us are the OGLs, the guy is Hans and the girl is Farhana… Hans said he was doing his special pose…Man… I look bloody pale…

Group shot! Notice that I’m putting my arm around a guy… A rarity for me… I had to convince myself to do it or else the photo would look weird…

Group’s changed positions…

Camp was fun, I talked loads so my throat feels so sore… Dang, this week we have to start to get serious… Oh well….