Second Day of Chinese New Year! February 19, 2007

Today was an eventful day!

At about noon time, My family and I travelled to the other end of Singapore to my grandmother’s house for lunch. Seeing my cousins after such a long while is quite interesting, because they change so much and we have plenty to talk about. The only problem is how to get them started. Anyway we watched John Tucker Must Die, hilarious film and I highly recommend it.

I was not looking forward to the next venue we were going to and that was my father’s friends house. Every year I am forced to go there and that is where I will meet all my father’s friends. It’s kinda like the venue where they all congregate and hence I shall meet my father’s friends’ children. So this is where my problems begin…

I don’t really have anything against my father’s friends’ children, it’s more like it is difficult for me to face them after something I did ages ago when I was a naive, innocent adolescent with no sense at all. I still go red with embarrassment whenever I think about what I did.

The hospitality of my host surprised me greatly, they were actually greeted me warmer than my own cousins would. Funny thing is that they could even remember stuff I told them ages ago, that I can’t even remember myself. Perhaps they had forgiven me already. Perhaps they were being gracious. Who know? I just needed to know that I was forgiven and that’s all that mattered.

I was so nervous before I entered the house, afraid of what kind of reception I would receive. In the end, I suppose that there was nothing to worry about. I will be grateful to them forever…

 When I met my victim, he actually surprised me by being the one to initiate a greeting. Honestly, I would not have done that. I was so red that I could not even look up at his face. I did not dare to look at him at all. I was hoping that I would not have to see him in the first place. 

Actually, I was secretly happy when I did not see him in the common room at first. However, his father called him down from the attic and my heart was beating wildly. I tried my best to make myself invisible. That was not possible considering what I was wearing today…

Please, please don’t see me…

He’s grown a lot thinner from what I remembered him to be. He looks and behaves like Sasuke in a way… Oh well, I hope he has forgiven me… That’s all that matters.

Now that I have put this matter to rest, I can finally go to gatherings with my head up high…  Anyhow, I must apologise to him someday, somehow…

My First Day of CNY February 19, 2007

Although I was looking forward to Chinese New Year this year, it doesn’t mean that the ocasion was fun and eventful. I mean, what do I have to look forward to anyway? I was hoping to have lots of fun talking and chatting away with my relatives, but all they are interested in is lots of gambling and Mahjong.

When I say they are into Mah jong, they are really into it. I mean hard core. They even keep the scores on how many points they get and they played for eight hours straight yesterday. So, you can’t blame me for feeling bored and ignored.

At least I got to play Monopoly with those who weren’t gambling…

Bosom Buddies’ Day February 13, 2007

This year’s theme for Valentine’s day is celebrating friendship love and, in my opinion, is better than romantic love, for now. Anyway, I shall be dedicating a song for all my friends out there, for being there for me and it’s called “On Our Way”, by Christina Aguilera. Do read through the lyrics, they are very meaningful.

On Our Way 

Me and you, we’re different
Don’t always see eye to eye
You go left, and I go right
And sometimes when we even fight
That don’t mean that I won’t need a friend, oh
You and me, we’re in this ’til the end, oh

I think we’re on our our way
Through all the lows and highs
I need you by my side, singing
I think we’re on our way
To better days, better days, oh
Let’s say we turn the page
Move on from all the times
Should’ve laughed, not cried, feeling
What is there more to say? (say)
I think that we’re on our way

Together, we’ll weather
Many storms as family
That bond is forever
It can take almost anything
The love I feel for you grows everyday, yeah
The more we get to learn from our mistakes, yeah yeah

I think we’re on our our way
Through all the lows and highs
I need you by my side, singing
I think we’re on our way
To better days, better days, oh
Let’s say we turn the page
Move on from all the times
Should’ve laughed, not cried, feeling (ooh)
What is there more to say? (say, yeah yeah)
I think that we are on our way

Someday, soon, I’ll need advice
Hope you’re there to shed some light
And maybe one day, you’ll be wanting mine
And we can (we can) be there be for each other

I think we’re on our way
I think we’re on our way (ha)
I think we’re on our way
Let’s say we turn the page
Move on from all the times
Should’ve laughed, not cried
What is there more to say? (ooh)
I think that we’re on our way
I think we’re on our way
Through all the highs and lows
I need you by my side, yeah

I think we’re on our way
To better days, better days, yeah
Let’s say we turn the page
Move on from all the times
Should’ve laughed, not cried
What is there more to say? (no more to say)
I think that we are on our way

Yeah.
Ohh.

No more to say.
No more to say. Yeah.

No more to say. Ha.

Valentine’s Day February 10, 2007

It is only four more days to that day and I am feeling especially anxious. I have been thinking about what to give to my peers and who to give to.

I have already decided on the candy and chocolate, but who to give these goodies to is more difficult to decide. I want to give to those who were good to me in the past year, but I am not certain of what they would think of me or I might give them the wrong idea.

I will give the stuff to them anyway because everyone needs a gift to cheer them up, especially during this stressful sec 4 year. It’s a form of thanks, in a way, since I have not gathered enough courage to thank them straight. It would be awkward to thank someone out of the blue, so I will grab the opportunity to thank them this way.

Valentine’s Day is a day to show my appreciation and love to those I care for and I will not let the chance to thank them pass me by.

My new favourite song is Fall to Pieces by Krystal Meyers. I like to think that God is with me in everything that I do and when I try doing things on my own, everything simply falls to pieces. It is only through our weaknesses that we learn to trust and depend on him completely.

“And he has said to me,’ My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness.’ Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ will dwell in me.”

2 Corinthians 12:9

Fall to Pieces

All the twisted lies and
All the empty promises that let me down
All this time I’ve compromised
And tried to find the easy way out

I’m letting go of all I’ve known
I never thought I’d say
“There’s gotta be a better way”

~Chorus~
When everything around me
Falls to pieces
I’ve got something more in my life
When I’m broken I see
Only you complete me
Yeah without you by my side
I fall to pieces every time

All my hopes and dreams and
All my selfish plans that crumbled in my hands
Made me realize I’ve gotta trust in something
Bigger than I am

I’m standing strong when all goes wrong
It’s gonna be OK
I’ve finally found a better way

~Chorus~

A flower that’s fading
Disintegrating
You’re patiently waiting for me

~Chorus~ (x2)

I don’t care what they will think of me, I will thank them anyway.

Lovely Traces February 4, 2007

I was listening to this song over and over again yesterday. I find the lyrics so meaningful.

I have a confession to make. Sometimes I feel as though I am drifting away from God, but this song reminds me of the path I took to get me to where I am now. That is when I  recovered my faith in God and myself. It was a long way, but God never gave up on me, so I should not give up on myself. No matter how distant God seems, I should continue doing everything for his glory.

I cried for ages after listening to this song.

Lovely Traces 

I was consumed
By a life that I made
Destined to crash
Beat up and bruised
By the flashbacks of my own past
I tried to hide away
Till I heard you say

~Chorus 1~
Lovely traces fall behind you
Turn around and you will see
Lovely traces to remind you
Everything that you’ve been through
What it took to get you to me

All my mistakes
Regrettable choices I’d like to forget
But somehow you make
All that I wasted useful again
I thought I fell from grace
But you can’t erase

~Chorus 2~
The lovely traces behind you
Turn around and you will see
Lovely traces to remind you
Everything that you’ve been through
What it took to get you to me

I lost my direction
‘Cause I couldn’t see
What a beautiful picture
You would complete in me

~Chorus 2~

Smile February 2, 2007

I love this song because it feels so sadistic. In my lifetime, I realised that I’ve been betrayed time and again. When I hear that someone else did just that to them, I feel so secretly glad that they got a taste of their own medicine. Serves them right! Then again, as Christians we know that we are supposed to be forgiving but it is not easy. There is always that guilt in us. However, it feels so good to just be evil for a moment. I guess this song serves to help us to let off steam.

Smile

When you first left me I was wanting more
But you were doing that girl next door, what ja do that for
When you first left me I didn’t know what to say
I never been on my own that way, just sat by myself all day

I was so lost back then
But with a little help from my friends
I found a light in the tunnel at the end
Now you’re calling me up on the phone
So you can have a little whine and a moan
And it’s only because you’re feeling alone

At first when I see you cry,
yeah it makes me smile, yeah it makes my smile
At worst I feel bad for a while,
but then I just smile I go ahead and smile

Whenever you see me you say that you want me back
And I tell you it don’t mean jack, no it don’t mean jack
I couldn’t stop laughing, no I just could help myself
See you messed up my mental health I was quite unwell

I was so lost back then
But with a little help from my friends
I found a light in the tunnel at the end
Now you’re calling me up on the phone
So you can have a little whine and a moan
And it’s only because you’re feeling alone

At first when I see you cry,
yeah it makes me smile, yeah it makes my smile
At worst I feel bad for a while,
but then I just smile I go ahead and smile

lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala lalala

At first when I see you cry,
yeah it makes me smile, yeah it makes my smile
At worst I feel bad for a while,
but then I just smile I go ahead and smile

lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala

 

Life as I know it February 1, 2007

Being a student is only preparation for life in the corporate world. Even if one were to fail a major exam, there is still opportunity to pick oneself up and press on for greatness.

Despite that, students have been reported to have committed suicide over matters which cannot even compare to some even worse events that may occur later in life. For instance, a student finds himself inferior to all his classmates because he is not as smart as they are. This is because he is in a prestigious school where everyone is quite brilliant. He commits suicide over that matter and when we read about this case in the newspaper soon after, we would say something like,” that was such a waste”.

This is only one of the many cases where we can see that we, as young people, fail to see the big picture. Having little experience in life,  high achievers and average students alike  sometimes are unable to take the fall.

We only have about 20 years in school and one failure cannot possibly affect the rest of our 80 years on earth so adversely. There are more hardships and suffering to come, so we have to learn from every experience that comes our way. We are growing everyday.

Don’t give up just yet. Keep on keeping on…